All We Can Do Is Keep Breathing
by Quills and Inkwells
Summary: Post 5x15. Oneshot. Katherine's literally been dragged into hell, but when she gets there, she finds that hell might be a place much worse than she had imagined. It's not fire and brimstone; that she could handle. She was Katherine Pierce, after all. No, instead she gets to watch the grief of the one she truly loves firsthand, and not do anything about it. Hell's charming, no?


When Katherine figured out where she was going, the pit of her stomach dropped. Crossing over to the Other Side would have been easy-simple, even. But no. Instead, she got to fall down straight to hell. To be honest, it was a bit flattering to her evil ego. She would be the first she knew of to go to hell. Oops.

It was when she reached her destination, that she became confused. Hell was not…hell. At least, it wasn't the version of hell her mother had told her about as a child. There was no raining fire and brimstone. No demons. For a moment, Katherine wondered if she managed to fuck even going to hell up. Then, she took in her surroundings. She was in a very nice-looking room, decorated in masculine style and expensive taste. The dead lady sucked in a gasp when she recognized certain items around the room, and that tie on the chair. Why in hell—literally—was she standing in _Elijah's_ bedroom?

The owner of said room entered mere seconds later, and she let out a sigh. He was just as handsome as ever, perfectly poised as always. Smiling softly to herself, Katherine walked over to behind him, attempting to place her hand on his shoulder like she had done many times before. Though she knew the result before it happened, her hand dissipated around his form, and she was as if made of mist. Damn. A small part of her had hoped to be able to feel him one last time; to wrap her arms around the man she had loved almost all of her existence for the final time. Unfortunately, karma was a bitch.

It had gotten to the point where Katherine was wondering what she was doing in Elijah's bedroom, no matter how pleasant it was to see him. He looked weary, as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. She wondered what he had been doing in New Orleans while she had been rotting to death. Literally. It was whilst Katherine was pondering that thought when a knock sounded at the door, and a certain blonde sister stepped in.

Rebekah was avoiding her brother's gaze as she walked into the room, holding an open phone. "Elijah… You've got a call." She said. "From Caroline Forbes." When Katherine heard Caroline had called, she knew what this was. Shit. This was the last thing she wanted to witness.

"The blonde Niklaus held an infatuation for? That Miss Forbes?" Elijah spun around in his desk chair.

"I would say it more as the one our _darling_ brother is ridiculously in love with—if that's even possible—but, yes. That Caroline." Elijah arched an eyebrow at this statement, but said nothing as Rebekah handed the phone to him. "You'll need to unmute it first." She helpfully added. "And just… Don't do anything rash, brother." With that, Rebekah slipped out the door, giving her eldest siblings a worried look as she did so.

Confused at her parting statement, Elijah did as she instructed and unmuted the phone, bringing it to his ear. "Miss Forbes? What gives me the pleasure?"

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "Um… I… I'm really sorry, I guess. I didn't want to be the one to have to tell you this, but then no one else was going to, and I figured that out of anyone you were the first who deserved to know. I normally would have come in person for this thing, but school matters keep me here, so I can't. So yeah."

"I am afraid I do not understand where you are going with this conversation." Elijah said. Katherine chuckled slightly in the background. That girl could talk circles around anyone.

Caroline paused for a moment. "Elijah… Katherine's dead."

The man went white. "Excuse me?" He stood but did move from his spot, for there was nothing else left to do but exist now. Katerina was…gone.

"She died last night. This isn't a joke, and she didn't fake it this time. I watched her die. Katherine's gone." The blonde who had become an almost-friend sniffled. All the woman in discussion wanted to do was scream that she was there; she was present. But she was gone, and that was the terrible part. She was dead, but for some reason watching this scene pan out.

"Please explain." Gone was the shocked man of mere seconds ago; in his place was a ruthless and angry man, grieving for the loss of a woman he had only a brief time with.

Caroline sighed and gave him the whole story, even going as far back as the time they had spent together at Whitmore. She berated Elijah for not coming to visit her on her first death bed, and went into details of the Travellers and Nadia and what exactly happened with the body-possession spell. Caroline divulged how she and her friends had been fooled for weeks by the woman masquerading as Elena, and told all that had gone on. Katherine was grateful the girl excluded details of her…fling with Stefan in the conversation. It was not that she would have cared if Elijah knew, but it would not do to rub salt in the existing wound. The blonde finished with a summary of what had happened the previous evening, even detailing her goodbyes to each of the occupants of the room. Katherine would have dearly loved to be able to give one more goodbye, however. One person had been missing from her list, and they were the only person she really wished to give a goodbye too. Alas, it was not to be.

Overall the conversation between Elijah and Caroline had lasted just over an hour, and throughout this time, the man had paced incessantly. He was like a man possessed, alternatingly between rage and grief, a myriad of emotions residing on his being. When Caroline finally finished, he thanked her for informing him and hung up. Sitting heavily in his chair, Elijah ran a hand over his face. From her invisible position perched on his bed, Katherine gulped. He was wearing the same look as he had the evening Kol died. Tears slipping down her cheeks, she watched the man she loved's face contort in agony over her death.

Silent sobs wracked his frame as Elijah Mikaelson grieved the woman known to the world as Katherine Pierce, and to him—and only him—as Katerina Petrova. Elijah was not a man who cried often; he was stoic and often cold, at times. But when it came to Katerina, he was always warm. She was a woman full of fire, and she was the woman to bring him back to life, so to speak. 'If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live': even now, her words from centuries ago rang throughout his head. She had helped him to believe in love again. And now she was gone. Dragged into hell, as Caroline had said. Katerina did not deserve a place such as that. Life was too cruel.

Standing again and pacing his room, Elijah suffered under the weight of the sheer grief he was experiencing. It felt as if a part of his soul had been torn to shreds in mere minutes, and so it had. Katerina would always be a part of his soul; their lives had been too intertwined to forget her. She was one hell of a woman, and she had departed in a manner he would not have wished for her. Katerina was a woman who would have wished to go down in battle, fighting for a cause which gave purpose to her life. She did not deserve to be stabbed in a room of enemies, having just lost her daughter moments before. It was an unjust world which they existed in, he thought, as the tears came once more, roughly wiping the never-ending stream away.

On the invisible side, Katherine shouted her anger at the world. This was unfair. This was cruel. She should not have to watch this. She did not wish to see Elijah's pain. Screaming obscenities at every deity she had ever heard of, she cried and wept her grief alongside the one she did not get to say a goodbye to. She was not supposed to go down like that. She was wanted to have a happy ending, damn it. Not a life full of misery and pain. She was supposed to be happy. She and Elijah were supposed to be happy. This was not fair.

This must be hell, Katherine surmised. It must be. No other place would be cruel enough to force someone to watch their one remaining loved one grieve for them, and not be able to do anything about it. There were no happy endings for people like her, and this was clearly to be hers. By the side of the man she loved for eternity, all alone. At least the Other Side offered companionship.

Unable to be heard, comfort, or do anything whatsoever but watch-trapped near Elijah, for she tested the limits by attempting to leave and grieve in peace-Katherine Pierce sobbed for the first time in centuries. She would see his hurt, watch his pain. Katherine would see his eyes eventually fall upon another woman in the same way he used to look upon her, and the have to watch as she was replaced. No, this was too cruel. Even for her, and all the terrible things she had committed, surely she did not warrant this kind of punishment. It could not be.

This truly was her definition of hell.

* * *

**AN: Anyone crying yet, because I know I am. I actually wrote this piece in one sitting, unable to deal anymore with the travesty committed last episode. I know my ending is a bit cruel, but, well, it is hell, after all. To have made it nice and fluffy would be unlike what happened canonically. Anyways, all I have left to say is this.**

**Rest in Peace, Miss Pierce. You were marvelously bitchy, fantastically adorable, and completely loved. May you eternally reside in the hearts of the fandom as a woman who could do her nails and rip her foes to shreds at the same time, wear killer heels, and make men fall in love with her, while only truly loving the one she could not have. **

**Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, and I will have an update of A Tree Called Life on Wednesday, where an _alive_ Katherine is present.**

**Hugs and Kisses to you all, **

**Abi**


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